Advocate: one that supports or promotes the interests of another.
(definition #3 according to the merriam-webster dictionary)
I advise my clients to be their dog's advocate. I recommend they become an educated consumer and question what they watch on tv, read in books, and hear me say. I tell them to listen to their gut and if anyone ever tells them (including me) to do something to their dog they feel uncomfortable about they should question it and / or not do it.
I try hard to be my pets' advocate, but it is not always easy. Sometimes the heart gets into conflict with the mind, but if you listen closely the answers are there. I'd like to share with you what happened to me during the last couple of weeks.
I agreed to foster a puppy. Now, let me tell you, this is no ordinary puppy. This puppy is an extremely cute puppy and one of my top favorite kinds: big head, floppy ears, short velvet soft coat, smart as a whip, and a rescue. My world is bliss with this pup and Harley, one of my dogs, is in love. The husband loves her, but not everyone does.
Right off the bat one of my cats, Nemo, hated her! After some training with the pup and Nemo, he became tolerant of her. Gizmo, our very own personal "fun police", wasn't happy either. He yelled at her and made it clear she should keep some distance in the same way he did in the beginning with Harley. Chloe on the other hand was not having luck with the pup. Normally, she loves puppies and becomes very playful herself, but not this time.
A little history on Chloe: I adopted her about six years ago (she's now about 11 years old) at the city shelter and she was quite a mess. I couldn't get near her for the first couple of days and not because she would bite me, but because she would shut down (not something I wanted her going through). Her confidence was shot and she was fearful of going through doorways, going outdoors, and had separation anxiety (still slight SA but very manageable) among other issues. A couple of family members even questioned why I had even gotten her, saying she wasn't a pet, but more like a wild little animal. Those family members took those words back a few months later. Chloe is my girl. She's my Girly Whirl, she's happy and she trusts me. Still not quick to trust those that push themselves on her, but if you give her a chance she warms up nicely. When I adopted Harley, she didn't love him at first, kept her distance, and in her well versed doggie language let him know to stay away, which he did. Little by little she came closer to him and let him come closer to her. Now, they snuggle together and she comes over and licks him, she is totally comfortable around him. Not with this foster pup.
She told the pup several times to stay away, but it didn't work and I saw her withdraw. She wasn't happy. I worked with the pup and both little dogs. Chloe did what I asked, but she was sad and stressed(not something I want). Gizmo on the other hand was more like, "okay this pup is just another food opportunity, but if she gets too close I WILL yell at her, deal?!".
So I was conflicted. What should I do? What should I do?! Harley loves this pup. I love the pup, the husband (who I thought would be the problem) was sold and in love. She is really smart and has already learned so much. I could train her to back off Chloe and eventually Chloe will be okay just like with Harley. I was close to sealing the adoption deal, but something just didn't feel right.
A friend once told me, "where there is a doubt, there is no doubt" and this thought came to mind during this time. I asked the rescue group (which has been responsible, supportive, and very understanding throughout the whole process) for more time to decide. Then two nights ago I had all my guys hanging out in the living room and the pup was in her crate. I was watching tv and all my dogs were napping on the sofa next to me. At some point I turned to look at them and there was Chloe snuggled really close to Harley and Gizmo right behind her, but under the covers. All three snuggling peacefully. Chloe completed relaxed and safe - that, right there, was my answer. This pup is a great puppy, has great potential, and we will continue to foster her until she find the best match, but she is not the best match for us.
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| Chloe snuggling with Harley & Gizmo behind her under the throw. |
I cannot take that "safe haven" away from Chloe. I don't need to. I want the best for her, for all my guys, and for this foster. I love the foster and wish I could keep her, but also know she will find a forever home where she could also be the best she can be. Its only fair to her too, she doesn't need to be in this home.
Having this pup has reignited something I had been missing lately and served to show me areas in my own dogs I need to work on. It also let me appreciate my own guys even more - how far each one has come, and how much more we can do - as long as the whole crew feels safe and happy, including us humans :).
Somewhere I read "good things fall apart so better things can fall together" and I believe things happen for a reason. Fostering has been a great experience and something my husband has also enjoyed and we both want to continue doing. So even though its not always the easiest thing, try your best to be your dog's advocate and do what is best for everyone. Consider their quality of life, remember having a pet is a commitment for that pet's life span and that's in sickness and in health. For everything they give us, we owe it to them.
